COMPASSION & SOLIDARITY

Rijasa Agung Gazebo

COMPASSION & SOLIDARITY
( HiVOS - Ubud Writers & Readers Festival 2009 )
A billingual Anthology of Indonesian Writing .

Putu Fajar Arcana

Drupadi.............


I remember now that the hundred time i've been born to live in this world. And it's strange that everytime i'm born again i always meet granfather again. A man with curly hair, a hundred over body and rather overlange ears i guessed he must be more than 100 years old. In any case his appearance was always a sure sign to me that i'd been born again in the same family.


The last time i' died it was in the train crash when i just 30 years old. Back then Grandfather once said, "I don't want to born again in the same family. And your name will be the same, Raytina........."


If I'd been able to speak back then, and not just able to hear, i'm sure i would have said , " i don't want to be born again , because birth just leads to death again....."


" Some day you're going to achieve what you've been aiming for, liberation from the cycle of life and death ," grandfather said suddenly.I'm sure he had been reading my thoughts. Who was that old man really ?


"And when will that moment come?" I thought to myselft.


"It depends on your karma, on everything you've done in the past."


" Is my karma completely stained with with sin that i always have to meet my fate like this?"


"It's not for me to decide that. Being born as human is still the ultimate..." said grandfather. His age must have been speaking. Suddenly before my eyes there seemed to be a picture spread out, almost like a video , about grandfather's past. The picture showed the journey of a dog who following his owner in a search for the gateway to heaven. Sometimes the picture was only in the form of silhouette like the shadow cast on a shadow - play screen, sometimes it seemed to shine out from cloe by, so that i could clearly see the face of the dog's master.


Now it seemed that i was on a hill and was carefully observing their journey. They were walk in single file, going uphill and downhill, by day and by night, in the heat of the sun and coldness of night, whether clear and raining., hungry, and thirsty while keeping their courage to themselves and fighting of all their feeling of fear.


Even when one woman and four men who were originally part of the journey died one by one along the way, that white dog kept walking. Through storm and rain he stayed without fail by the side of his master. But when the arrived at the gate of heaven and the dog's master was invited to enter into the heavenly abode, he refused. He said that his dog, who had faithfully stayed by his side through rain and storm and protected him from all kinds of wild animals, had to be allowed into heaven too.


But the gatekeeper refused to open the door for a dog, " Dog's aren't allowed into the heavenly abode," he said.


" If my dog isn't allowed in, the refuse to go in myselft," said the dog master


" Why are you sacrificing the good fortune that's been offered you only for the sake of defending a dog ?" asked the gatekeeper.


This dog has demonstrated his faitfulness over and over again ."


The gatekeeper's supervisor said, " a dog has nothing else but his faitfulness, so let it be his fate to live in the world and better himself through a human birth." that said ,it seemed that his words were the fate of the dog.


" And that's how i came to be...." said grandfather suddenly.And with that the picture seemed to crystallize and then fade away.


Now i knew that grandfather was none other then the dog who had faitfully followed Yudhistira to the very gates of heaven , i felt i'd been tossed back to the final moment of the tale of the Mahabharata.


"Even now yudistira is waiting there at the gates of heaven . And he won't go in untill finally i show up there, " said grandfather.


" you mean that yudhistira was willing to wait for hundreds of years at the gates of heaven?" I asked.


"That's what's known as true nobility ...." said grandfather calmly.My guess had been right, i was sure now that grandfather was over 100 years old. But why was still holding on to life in this world when he almost no flesh left on his bones ?


Continue...........